Out On The Rooftop
by SushieRoxs101
Summary: Kate and Castle are locked on a rooftop. They have many things to discuss but don't seem to know how to say it. Eventual Caskett. Takes place, sometime after 47 seconds but before Always.


**A/N- Hey ladies and Gents. I posted this one before but I had a lot wrong with it so I deleted it and reposted it. Of course if you guys leave me reviews and want me to continue then I would be happy to oblige. Anyways, please review. Even if you review to tell me it stinks and to never write anything ever again.**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing no matter how much that pains me to say. **

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**Out On The Rooftop**

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Kate sat there on the railing looking at the ground. 20 stories up and she wanted nothing more than to be free. Richard Castle stood by the door, she couldn't tell if he'd finally given up or preparing to thrust himself on the door again. "I used to be afraid of heights."

They were locked on the roof of a building 20 stories high. It was supposed to be a routine check but of course, with Kate and Castle, that wasn't how anything was going to happen. "Mhm." She barely heard his soft mumble so she looked back at him. He sat thumbing out a text. Probably to the blond bimbo he'd been dating. The flight attendant.

Her legs dangled off and Kate swung them back and forth. Sure heights still gave her the willies, especially on a day like this. Where the wind blew breathlessly around them. The sun making its escape behind the clouds and the moon making an appearance. It freaked her out but, of course, he didn't care. She thought about asking him to call Espo or Ryan but they were in California chasing down a suspect. Plus, this old building was abandoned and the manager was the only one with a key. "Yeah, my mom and dad took me up to the top of the building my mom worked in and sat me on the edge. It was the first and only time I thought they were abandoning me." She heard another halfhearted grunt but continued. It felt good getting this off of her chest even though, the only thing listening was the wind. "They sat me down on the edge and said they'd be right back. They decided to see what I would do since I was horrified of heights. I ended up closing my eyes and embracing it so that's what I do every time I get scared because I know my parents are watching over me."

At that point a gentle gust of wind swarmed around Kate and played with her hair. For some reason, she thought it was her mother. No, Kate knew it was her mother. The soft caress of the wind made her feel less alone. Castle wasn't keeping her much company. Kate took a deep breath of the air as Castle strode over to her. "Well I had to cancel my date with Stephanie since you locked us out here." Kate shook her head as she continued looking up at the stars.

They'd been out here for almost 3 hours already. "Can I see your phone for a moment?" Castle sighed and handed her his phone. Kate's died about an hour ago and her charger was in the car. Kate smiled at Castle as she took the battery out and threw it off the building. She watched carefully as it stuttered to a stop in a million pieces.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Castle screamed at her as he watched his battery land in a million pieces on the cement. He had no idea how tempted Kate was to jump off and join the battery. She thought red would look beautiful on the cement right about now.

"You can talk to your blonde bimbo once we've gotten off of this rooftop." Kate sucked in a breath and walked to the other side of the roof. She looked down into the dark abyss of New York. Kate always wanted to get away from this place. It haunted her though. No matter where she went it came with her. If she left the city, she'd see people from New York, if she went to bed, nightmares would plague her, all setting in New York. This place would never leave her but it was suffocating her.

No, as the wind cleared her mind and the chill of the air brought her to attention, she realized that it was not the place that was suffocating her but the person. Castle had been the one she wanted to get away from. He was the one that was driving her to the edge and back. She knew that the reason he was killing her inside was because she was to scared to admit that she was in love with the man. Yes, she was in love with Castle but he'd moved on.

"What the hell is this about Beckett? Are you angry at me? Are you pissed at me?" Castle grabbed her arm and jerked her out of her thoughts and towards him. Whirling around she saw how close they were and took a step back. This move was risky because she was still afraid of heights and now she was pushed up against the railing.

"What the hell Castle? You couldn't have asked me like a normal person?" She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye, her anger blazing. "To answer your question, yes, I am pissed at you! I'm mad because you keep flaunting your bimbos around here like nothing else matters, I'm pissed that you have no idea how much you mean to other people, and I'm pissed that since I was shot you've been treating me like a freaking business associate and not a friend, so my question to is, is are you pissed at me?" Kate's voice rose on every question until she was screaming at him. The air chilled around them and the wind whipped furiously through their hair.

"Yes Kate, I am angry. You didn't even call or write for those three months and I was worried sick about you but you didn't care! You still don't care because you have Josh and you did back then too! Then I find out you lied to me about remembering!" Kate face went from angry to confused to amusement to angry in ten seconds flat.

"I wrote Alexis and Martha but I needed time from you Rick! I needed time to heal and think about everything that was going on! If I didn't care then why did I ask Alexis about you in every letter? If I didn't care then why did I have nightmares every night where YOU were shot instead of me? If I didn't care, then why did I cry into my pillow every night for 3 months? Yes, I lied to you but that was to protect myself Castle. " Kate took a breath and started walking around Castle.

Castle grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him. "Don't you walk away from me Kate! We are having a conversation!" Castle's wind blown hair was beckoning Kate forth but she squashed the thought of running her hands through it and straightened up. She pulled her arm from his grasp and glared at him.

"I didn't see you trying to contact me either Castle." She walked towards the other side of the roof then back towards the door. She looked around and started taking her heels off. Castle came over to her ans sighed, getting ready to start yelling at her for her past mistakes again when she started climbing up the door.

"What are you doing?" Castle yelled at Kate as she got further up the door. Doing this barefoot was such a better choice than trying to do this with heels on. Kate was good, but not that good. "Kate, you could fall and hurt yourself."

Kate tried to focus on climbing. "If you stop distracting me, then I won't fall and I won't get hurt." She put her foot in the next hole, boosting herself up another couple of inches. The door was a good 7 feet high. "I think the manager was planning on mutating giants and attacking the city with them."

Kate tried to lighten the mood with a far out theory. It was Castle's field of expertise but she felt bad that he was worrying and he had a point. She didn't contact him, though that was because she was trying to figure out how she felt about him and she had lied to him. It didn't work. Castle continued to just stare as Kate inched her way up the door frame. "Castle, stop looking at my ass."

She tried a different technique. This was their usual banter. "Oh, dear detective, it's for research on my next book." She knew that that would draw him in. It wasn't unlike him to participate even when he was angry, and that was what she loved about him.

Well she loved everything about him really. She loved his humor, his beautiful blue yes, his protectiveness, even his silly childish antics. She'd never tell anyone that he made her day with his far fetched theories but she could appreciate them on her own. "Why is Rook going to describe Nikki's backside?"

There was a long pause before Castle spoke. "Well, he hasn't before so he just might." Kate laughed a little as she finally reached the top. She pulled herself up and made sure her feet were secure before standing and smiling down at him.

"Boo yah!" She stuck her tongue out at Castle whom smiled up at her. See, take away his cell phone and he was normal Castle again. "I told you I could make it up here without dying!" He knew she could but he was worried. It was pitch black out, the moon the only thing illuminating the roof top. Well, the only thing besides the New York sky line. At night, with all the buildings lit up, it was actually quite beautiful. Almost like Kate's eyes when she smiled. "I'm going to look for a ladder up here or something." Castle shook his head, clearing all thoughts of Kate like that. She was his partner, his friend.

"Alright but be careful, it's dark out!" Of course it was dark out. He face palmed himself before going and laying in the center of the building. Right here must've been the only place in the entire town of New York where you could see the stars. They lit up the sky like a million twinkling lights. They really were beautiful. When Alexis was little, she and he would take drive out to the country in a pickup truck just to spend a night looking at stars. She loved it and it let him spend quality time with his beloved daughter.

"Castle!" Castle stood up and walked back over to the door where a ladder was now leaned against. "Would you hold the ladder while I come down?" Castle took hold of the ladder while Kate climbed down and landed gracefully next to him. She sighed then and walked over to where she dropped her bag when they were first locked up here. "Castle, we need to talk, without yelling." Castle nodded.

"You're right, we do need to talk without fighting. This isn't fair to both of us. We can't be mad at each other or else we'll loose the other one and Kate, you're a really good friend of mine." Kate smiled down at her lap and twiddled her thumbs.

"Castle," she sighed, "I have to tell you something." Castle nodded, giving her his full attention. "I didn't contact you for those three months because I was trying to figure out how I felt about you." She sighed again as Castle's face lit up with hope for a minute. "I mean I knew that you loved me but I couldn't figure out how I felt. Then, after that one case I saw you with all of those woman who you don't love, and I got angry. I was jealous even. I broke up with Josh that day in the hospital, the day I told you I needed time. This was of course, before I knew he saved my life but I had to. It was unfair to him if I kept seeing him" Kate closed her eyes for the next part. "I remember everything from the day I got shot but you know that. I remember standing up to give my speech, I remember you trying to take the bullet, and I remember you saying you loved me." She bit her lip and peeked up at Castle from beneath her eye lids. He physically pulled away from her. He thought that since he already knew, it would be easier to hear her say that she really did lie to him. He was wrong. "I was scared and confused but those are just excuses. Be angry, I know I am."

She took a breath of air and blew it out in little rings. It was getting cold and it wasn't just for the topic of conversation. Castle sighed. "Why did you lie to me Kate? I want the full, truthful, reason." Castle looked so vulnerable, so defenseless that Kate sparred him and decided to give him the truth.

"When you first said those three words I was terrified that I loved you back. I didn't want to get my heart broken and Castle, you are the only one that could break my heart. Then, when I realized how I truly felt about you, I got angry with myself because I felt like I was replacing my mom in my heart but I know that isn't true. Castle, you are the only good thing that's happened to me since I can remember and I don't want to screw that up but I know that you can't go back to being just friends, not really. You've waited to long for this and I know you have."

Castle sighed and looked up towards the stars. Why was this so hard. Why couldn't he just hug her and tell her that he loved her with all of his heart? "Kate, we'll work on it, I promise and I can't be mad at you. I've been keeping something from you. Something way more major than that." Kate was genuinely curious now. What could the author have done or say that was bigger than this. "I've been investigating your mothers murder." Tears sprang to Castle's eyes as he saw the rejection in Kate's. "Mr. Smith called me and told me to keep you away from the case and he could protect you. It was always to protect you Kate!"

Kate stood up and started pacing the roof. "Wait, you mean to tell me, after I deliberately said that we were going to find her murderer together, you went behind my back and started looking anyways?" She looked over at Castle who nodded, tears still in his eyes. "Now you mean to tell me it was all just to protect me?"

Castle stood up and walked over to her. He put his arms on her shoulder to stop her from pacing. "Please listen to me Kate. The only reason why I did this was to protect you. Those men out there, they are going to find you and they are going to kill you. I just couldn't sit back and watch you die. Kate I'm in love with you and I refuse to watch you get killed."

Kate stood there with Castle's hands holding her in place. She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes. She tried her best to blink back the tears as the wind pushed her towards Castle As a big gust of wind came through, Kate lost her balance and fell into Castle's arms. She couldn't hold back anymore as tears freely flowed down her cheeks. "Castle, I miss her so much. Just being up here on this rooftop reminds me of her. She was my everything Castle. She taught me everything I know and really, she was the only one able to keep my dad in line. She was such an amazing woman and I think about her everyday." Kate babbled on as Castle held her to him whispering sweet nothings into her ear. He didn't really know what brought this on. First she was pissed at him for investigating her mothers murder now she's telling how much she misses her.

"Ssh. Kate, calm down. I know sweetie, I know. She would have been amazing because she raised such an amazing daughter." Castle just held her to him whispering nothing into her ear. His voice alone seemed to calm her down.

Kate pulled back and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry Castle. It's just, talking about her murder makes me think about her so much." Kate took a breath and looked up into Castle's eyes. "I'm still mad at you for investigating her murder but I know that you only did it to protect me. You did it because you love me, just like," Kate took a gulp as she stared into Castle's eyes. "You love me just like I love you."

Castle stared in astonishment. "Kate, you just said the L word." Kate laughed. It wasn't one of those half-assed, maybe he'll go away if I laugh, kinda laugh, but a full blown laugh. It reached her eyes and Castle vowed to see her laugh like that once a week. He loved her laugh, and her smile. He just loved everything about her.

"Rick, I think you might be right." She leaned up and looked at his lips before looking into his eyes. He didn't need to be told the hint as he leaned down and placed his lips like a seal above hers. The gentle kiss became passionate real quick as Kate found her arms tangled around his neck and his arms around her waist. His lips trailed down her neck and left a mark, marking her as his.

Kate smiled as she broke the kiss for oxygen. "What about your blonde bimbo?" He laughed and looked down at the ground for a moment.

"I broke up with her yesterday. I thought that I would try to make you jealous so I told you it was the bimbo when in reality I was texting mother." Kate's face went from amusement to fear in a heart beat.

"Oh my god! She's going to kill me once she kinds out that I threw your battery off the roof because you were texting her!" Castle laughed at her expression and leaned down to kiss that frown off of her lips.

"Come on, you must be tired." She looked down at her fathers watch and saw that it was almost three in the morning. They laid down in the middle of the roof and Castle put his arm around her while she used his chest as a pillow. Soon Kate was asleep and the sound of her heart was lulling him to sleep along side her.

Their relationship wasn't perfect, but at least they had each other. That's all that mattered.

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**A/N- Well, there you have it. If you want me to continue with like, the team finding out and what not tell me, if you think this is better as a one shot, still tell me. I love reviews, and if any of you are writers, you know they can make a persons day. Seriously, they change my entire attitude. Welp, love you. -Savannah**


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